Adoption: Understanding your child's threat response when it shows up as "Fawning"
Description
To all those who work with, parent and support our children,
Have you ever come across a child who is so agreeable, sweet and seems to read people so well? It can feel lovely and easy to relate to kids who present this way, but you might also find it's like pulling teeth to get them to say what they want, like and think. Kindness is not a problem, but "fawning" indicates the child doesn't actually feel safe enough to be themselves - they've learned somewhere along the way that if they don't please others and keep them happy and unagitated, that they might be abandoned emotionally. That their attachment depends on their good and easy behaviour, how compliant they can be.
Fawning is one of the 4 F responses to feeling unsafe or threatened, but it typically has a unique profile and function - it's an attempt to preserve safety in the context of relationships. I've had so many teachers and parents asking amazing questions about this type of trauma response, wanting to understand it better. Let's explore this further today. Join me?
Karen
PS. Here's some further reading if you're interested:
https://www.amazon.ca/What-Happened-You-Understanding-Resilience
https://www.pacesconnection.com/blog/the-trauma-response-of-fawning-aka-people-pleasing-part-one
https://drarielleschwartz.com/the-fawn-response-in-complex-ptsd-dr-arielle-schwartz/#.YjFCUXrMIT0
https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/unlearn-fawn-response
United States
